Skip to main content

The Weight of a Broken Heart

Have you ever felt a sharp, cold feeling pierce your heart? That unbearable sense of emptiness, a void that makes you feel as if there's a huge hole inside you. If so, you know exactly what this is about. It is often incredibly difficult to explain this feeling to others because simple words never seem enough. They cannot truly capture or express the depth of your pain. I tell you, the human heart is a strange and complex thing.

I have always wondered why a breakup hurts so deeply. I believe it is much more than just the end of a relationship between two people. When you separate, you experience the sudden and painful loss of a shared future, a broken promise of what could have been. It is the death of your joint dreams and the terrifying loss of a comforting, familiar life. This is why we cry so much, and why the pain feels exactly like mourning a death. In a way, we are mourning a death, the death of all the dreams and possibilities we had built with that person. It is the loss of a whole version of ourselves that existed only in that relationship.

I guess this deep, painful loss is why heartbreak can bring even the strongest person to their knees. It does not matter how tough you think or claim you are, not physically, mentally, or emotionally. Heartbreak hits you so cruelly and completely. When someone is in this kind of pain, to simply say, "I understand how you feel," feels like an absolute lie. It feels untrue because we truly cannot understand the exact pain someone else is going through, even if we have been through a breakup ourselves. The pain is unique to them, and we can only offer support, not truly share the wound.

When you are hurting, the most common things people tell you are, "Be strong," or "Just move on." Honestly, it’s not that simple, and it absolutely does not work that way. How can I possibly be strong when I feel like all my strength has left me? And how can I move on when that person meant so much, and when I shared every detail of my life with them? How can I move on when everything I do, see, hear, and touch reminds me of them? You become so connected that you can even recognize their scent in a crowded room. How do I explain to my own heart that all the future plans we made are now impossible, and that the one person who could make me happy just by seeing their face is no longer here? 

This overwhelming pain is exactly why we desperately hold onto the hope that we will get back together. We become so desperate that we start doing things we would never normally do. In these low moments, we completely drop our pride, ego, and shame, and we are willing to crawl back, and make things exactly as they were before. Sometimes, though rarely, these efforts work, but often, they do not. When the attempt fails, after all that effort, it can feel easier to just blame it on bad luck or destiny rather than face the raw, painful truth that the relationship is truly finished. So, instead of facing the truth, we cling to a secret, tiny hope, waiting for some miracle to happen. I guess this waiting and hoping is just a kind of wishful thinking, a way to fool our own hurting heart and ease the pain, even if only for a little while.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Celebrating One Year of LDR Journey

  They say distance separates hearts, but I think ours just learned to beat louder. Today marks one full year of being in a long-distance relationship, 365 days of holding on, showing up, and proving that love doesn’t shrink with space; it stretches, adapts, and if you're lucky, it deepens. What once felt impossible is now something we’ve lived, and are still living, one day, one call, one “goodnight” at a time. I still think about that day at the airport. The way your hand slipped out of mine. The tears neither of us wanted to let fall. The ache I carried through,  that was Day One, the beginning of this strange, beautiful, often frustrating chapter. We didn’t know if we’d last. But here we are. A year later. Stronger, closer, and even more in love. This year taught us that love doesn’t always come in fireworks or fairy tale moments. It comes in the little things. Your sleepy morning voice notes were my daily shot of warmth. My late-night texts full of memes became your las...

Cheers to 5 Years of Us!

Today marks five beautiful years of our journey together. Looking back, I’m truly thankful for everything we’ve poured into this relationship, the laughter, the tears, the love, and even the lessons. It hasn’t always been easy, but here we are, still choosing each other. And I hope we’ll continue to do so for the rest of our lives. Life isn’t like the perfect love stories we see in TikTok, K-Dramas or BL series. Real love is messy, raw, and honest. It’s a balance of both sunshine and storms. It starts with that giddy, butterfly-filled puppy love, fooling around, sharing silly jokes, and feeling like the world is brighter just because you’re together. But it also comes with disagreements, hurt feelings, and moments of doubt. Love, I’ve learned, isn’t about avoiding those hard times but about standing side by side and working through them. It takes two people, equally committed, to make it last. A friend once told me, “The first seven years of a relationship are the hardest with constant...

Thinley's bucket list

A few months ago, completely out of the blue, Thinley sent me his bucket list. Rereading it now, given everything we're going through, it feels like a collection of faraway dreams. There are moments when I truly don't know if we'll pull through this challenging time, but my heart desperately wants us to. We have to. His list, simply titled "Things I Want to Do With My Husband," holds the most beautiful and uncomplicated desires: a nice date, dinner, a movie, a visit to a Lhakhang, and traveling (just the two of us). These are such simple things, the kind we often take for granted in the rush of everyday life. It truly speaks to the pure, childlike heart that Thinley has. Despite the uncertainty that looms over us, I cling to the hope that we can make every single item on that list come true. It might not be exactly as we once imagined, or on the timeline we expected, but I am committed to finding a way. Here’s how I envision us completing his precious bucket list....