Thinley's bucket list

A few months ago, completely out of the blue, Thinley sent me his bucket list. Rereading it now, given everything we're going through, it feels like a collection of faraway dreams. There are moments when I truly don't know if we'll pull through this challenging time, but my heart desperately wants us to. We have to.

His list, simply titled "Things I Want to Do With My Husband," holds the most beautiful and uncomplicated desires: a nice date, dinner, a movie, a visit to a Lhakhang, and traveling (just the two of us). These are such simple things, the kind we often take for granted in the rush of everyday life. It truly speaks to the pure, childlike heart that Thinley has.

Despite the uncertainty that looms over us, I cling to the hope that we can make every single item on that list come true. It might not be exactly as we once imagined, or on the timeline we expected, but I am committed to finding a way. Here’s how I envision us completing his precious bucket list.

1. A Nice Date.

To be frank, Thinley and I have never actually been on what one might call a "proper date," and I believe that's precisely why he included it on his list. Given our past financial struggles, that luxury simply wasn't within our reach, we were always focused on just making ends meet. I guess Thinley, understanding our situation, never pushed or even asked, which I deeply appreciate. Now, I want to make this date incredibly special for him.

I've been envisioning a perfect evening, just the two of us. We'll start with dinner at a really nice restaurant, one where we can truly relax and connect. I imagine us beginning with some refreshing cocktails and delicious snacks, and he can order anything his heart desires, I know he's been missing authentic Bhutanese food. This will be our time to talk, to truly catch up on everything, and to share all the moments and feelings we've been missing since he left.

After dinner, I want to take him to a nice bar or two, where we can enjoy the ambiance and each other's company. Then, to really make up for lost time, I'd love to take him to a club so we can dance our hearts out, something else we've surprisingly never done together.

Beyond this special evening, I want to make "date night" a regular part of our lives. My hope is for us to date every single Saturday, exploring different restaurants and cafes around Thimphu until we discover that one perfect spot that feels uniquely "ours" and that we both absolutely love. It's about building new traditions and making up for all the moments we've missed. 

2. Dinner

Thinley has always genuinely enjoyed my cooking, I know his favorites are my beef curry, the dhal, and the  mushy potatoes, or "Kewa Mekay-Mekey" as he fondly calls them. These are simple dishes, nothing fancy, but they’ve always been a source of comfort and warmth for him and I have always enjoyed seeing him eat.

This time, however, I want our dinner to be different. Instead of just cooking for him, I want us making these meals together, side-by-side in the kitchen. We can chat and laugh as we chop vegetables and stir pots, catching up on how our days have gone, sharing the small moments and big thoughts that fill our lives. I'd love to teach him how to cook these simple dishes, showing him the little tricks.

Beyond our usual favorites, I am excited for us to explore new culinary adventures together, especially trying hot pots. We can experiment with different dishes and ingredients, turning meal prep into an interactive and fun experience. And of course, we'll try our hands at making other new dishes together, expanding our shared repertoire in the kitchen.

After we finish cooking, I imagine us sitting down together, just the two of us, to enjoy the fruits of our labor. We can talk about how the dishes turned out, what we liked best, and how we might improve them next time. It won't just be about preparing food, it will be about creating new memories, connecting over shared tasks, and perhaps even starting a new tradition where the kitchen becomes our shared space for joy, laughter, and heartfelt conversation.

3. A movie

I truly miss our old movie nights. When we lived together, I'd often bring my office projector home, download a film or series Thinley wanted to watch, and we'd cozy up in our bedroom. Most of the time, it was horror movies, which he absolutely loved, alongside some dramas and BL series. Those were such simple, cherished times.

Now, I want to bring back that magic, but with a new twist. We'll definitely have regular movie nights at home, recreating that comfortable, intimate atmosphere. I'll make sure to have all the snacks ready and we can take turns picking what to watch, a mix of his beloved horror, some compelling dramas, and BL. But beyond our cozy home setup, I also want us to go to the movie theaters every month. Thinley also enjoys Bhutanese movies, so catching new releases on the big screen will be a wonderful way for us to get out and experience something together. After the movie, we can always grab dinner or just hang out, extending our date and talking about what we've just seen.

4. A visit to a Lhakhang

For this particular wish, I have a very specific and hopeful destination in mind, the Chimi Lhakhang, often known as the fertility temple, which is located in the Punakha. It's widely believed that this sacred Lhakhang grants the wishes of couples longing to have a child.

Thinley has always expressed a deep desire to have a child, and I know how much it means to him. So, while fulfilling his wish to visit a Lhakhang, my hope is that our visit to Chimi Lhakhang will also pave the way for his other heartfelt wish to come true, for us to be blessed with the opportunity to raise a child together. It would be a journey filled with intention and hope, a spiritual moment dedicated not just to our present, but to the future family we dream of building.

5. Traveling (just the two of us)

Traveling, just the two of us, is another one of those experiences we've surprisingly never shared. While my heart truly wishes I could take him away to Bangkok for a proper vacation, a trip filled with vibrant city life and relaxation, I know that might be a bit far-fetched given our current circumstances. However, that doesn't mean that we can't explore our own beautiful country together.

My first dream trip with Thinley within Bhutan is to Bumthang. I envision us visiting all the sacred and beautiful Lhakhangs there, not just as tourists, but to pray together for our future, our health, and our happiness. It would be a journey of spiritual connection and shared tranquility amidst the stunning natural beauty of the valley.

Beyond Bumthang, I'm also eager to take him to Phuentsholing. We could spend a day enjoying the swimming pools, unwinding and having fun. Afterward, we'd cross over to Jaigaon, immersing ourselves in the bustling atmosphere, enjoying some lively shopping, and indulging in all the delicious street foods.

And finally, a trip to Phobjikha is a must. Here, I just want us to find a quiet spot high on a hill, sit together, and simply soak in the breathtaking panoramic views of the valley. No agenda, no rush, just us, appreciating the peace and beauty of nature. Each of these trips, whether spiritual, lively, or serene, promises to be an unforgettable adventure, creating new memories that are uniquely ours.

This list, born from Thinley's simple wishes, has become a powerful beacon of hope for me. Each item isn't just a task, but a promise of shared moments, renewed connection, and a future we're actively building together. Despite the challenges we face, I am determined to make every single one of these dreams a reality, proving that even in uncertain times, love, hope, and dedication can pave the way for a beautiful life together.