I have always had a knack for writing, though I wouldn't necessarily call myself a great writer. As a student, writing was something I truly enjoyed, particularly essays. I relished essay questions because they gave me the freedom to express my ideas and creativity. Writing felt like an outlet, a way to share my thoughts and showcase my imagination. I’ve always been good with words, though I’d admit that my grammar skills were and still are rather average. Despite that, I took pride in writing articles for my school’s annual magazine and even submitted a few pieces to newspapers, of which only one or two were published.
Writing, for someone like me, an introvert, has always been a means of self-expression. I’m not one to easily express emotions, and I find it challenging to communicate my feelings verbally. But with writing, I can pour out my thoughts and unspoken emotions without fear of judgment or misunderstanding. I’ve never considered myself an introvert all my life. It wasn’t until around 2016 that I started feeling like I had to hold back from initiating conversations. By 2017, I had stopped reaching out to start them altogether.
One particular incident stands out to me. I publicly came out as gay in the media, and shortly after, when I ran into a friend in town, I tried to start a conversation. To my shock, he asked me not to talk to him, fearing that people might think he was gay too. This moment, among others, made me retreat even further into myself. I learned that starting conversations only led to uncomfortable situations, so now I only speak when spoken to first. I never want to make anyone feel uncomfortable in my presence.
But coming back to the reason for writing, this profile, which I created back in 2016, was suppose to be my way of expressing emotions and documenting the experiences in my life. However I could not do it because I was so busy I life that I had completely forgotten about it. After finishing school, then college, and later diving into my work, I somehow lost touch with that writer inside me. It wasn’t until Thinley left for abroad that I found myself writing more often again, which you can see in my posts. Thinley, unknowingly, was the catalyst who reconnected me with that part of me I had lost so long ago. Now that I realize it, I’ve never properly thanked him for that, but I owe him a huge thanks for helping me rediscover that part of myself. Thinley, you’ve done so much for me, and I could never truly express my gratitude.
Now, why do I write? It’s for all the reasons I’ve shared. As an introvert, I don’t talk much, and there’s so much I keep inside, such as unconfessed words and unspoken feelings. When Thinley moved abroad, and we began our long-distance relationship, I didn’t have the same outlets to share my thoughts and emotions. So, I turned to writing. I poured everything I was feeling into my posts and writings.
It’s been a healthy practice for someone like me, and I hope to continue doing it more often moving forward. Writing has become a way to express what I couldn’t say aloud and to connect with parts of myself I didn’t know I’d lost.
I would like to add a special thank you to Thinley for helping me find my inner voice and for being the reason behind my comeback to writing. Your support, without you even realizing it, has played a huge role in reconnecting me with that part of myself I thought I had lost. For that and everything else, I am forever grateful.
Thank you for helping me rediscover my voice.
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