December has been an eventful month, filled with important days and significant moments. Each experience, big or small, has shaped the course of my days in ways I never anticipated.
Thinley had a disagreement with his sister due to a misunderstanding, and unfortunately, they are not on speaking terms at the moment. It’s painful to see them like this, especially knowing how much they care for each other. Even though they live in the same country, their demanding schedules and mismatched timings rarely allow them to meet. I can only hope that time and understanding will heal the distance between them.
My travels took me to Bangkok and then to Nepal. The journey was both exhilarating and exhausting, but it also gave me the chance to shop for things I needed. One of the most meaningful purchases I made was a new pair of glasses, one for myself and one for Thinley.
For a long time, I had been using Thinley’s old glasses. When we first met, I had broken my own frame and was struggling to work. Seeing my difficulty, he selflessly gave me his glasses, even though he needed them himself. That small yet profound gesture meant so much to me, it was one of the first things I ever received from him, a symbol of his kindness and care. How could anyone not fall in love with such generosity?
Since then, I have grown deeply attached to those glasses, but I also wanted to preserve them as a reminder of his love. So, during my trip to Nepal, I finally bought a new pair for myself and another for him. It feels like a way of honoring the past while preparing for the future. Now, I just need to find a way to send them to him soon.
December 13th, I celebrated my birthday another year of growth, experiences, and memories. Despite his busy schedule, Thinley was the first to wish me, and that small moment filled my heart with happiness. But at the same time, his absence left an unshakable emptiness.
When he was here, even when he had little to no money, he always found a way to make my birthday special. He would plan small surprises, putting in so much effort just to see me smile. Those moments meant everything to me. This year, as I celebrated without him, I found myself missing him more than ever.
Yet, even from afar, he made sure I felt loved. He sent me a cake, and as I lit the candles, a warmth spread through me. It was more than just a gift, it was a reminder that love transcends distance. Though we are apart, he still finds ways to make me feel cherished, and that, in itself, is the most precious gift.
One of the best parts of the celebration was that he reconnected with old friends, sharing laughter and stories that must have felt like a comforting embrace. Being away from home isn’t easy, and I know he misses it deeply. So, moments like these, where he can surround himself with familiarity and warmth, must have meant the world to him. Even if just for a little while, he got to feel like he belonged again.
I finally bought the phone with the money Thinley sent me, something he had been planning for so long. We had talked about it many times over the past few months, and I know how much he wanted me to have it. But as much as I appreciate the gift, I can’t help but feel a little guilty. He has been working overtime, sacrificing his own comfort just to make this happen. I admire his dedication and his boundless generosity, but I also worry about him, about how much he is pushing himself.
I wish he knew that his effort and thoughtfulness mean far more to me than the phone itself. It’s not just a device, it’s a symbol of his love, his hard work, and his desire to make my life easier. And because of that, I will cherish it for the rest of my life.
All the traveling has taken a toll on my health. The constant movement, changing climates, and irregular schedule have left me feeling drained. My sleep cycle has been completely disrupted, and the exhaustion has started affecting my work. There have been days when I simply couldn’t make it to the office because I could not sleep.
Thinley has been complaining that we don’t spend as much time together as we used to. Late-night conversations were our thing, our way of unwinding, of staying connected despite the distance. But lately, I’ve been going to bed early, and I haven’t told him the real reason why. I just don’t want to worry him because he is going through so much himself. But I know this isn’t sustainable. I need to find a balance, to take care of myself while still nurturing the relationships that matter most. Hopefully, with time, I’ll get back on track, regain my energy, and be able to enjoy both my work and my time with Thinley without sacrificing my well-being.
The final pieces of furniture and home essentials have been purchased, making our space feel more complete. This time, we got a TV, a fridge, and a TV stand, a small additions that make the space feel even more like a home. Thinley keeps teasing me, telling me to stop "flexing" it, but I can’t help myself. Every little improvement excites me, and I keep sending him pictures, hoping he sees what I see, a warm, welcoming space waiting for him. It’s my way of reminding him that no matter how far he is, he has a home to return to. Not just a physical space, but a place filled with love, memories, and anticipation for the day he walks through that door again.
Lastly, I had a guest staying at my home. A friend of mine asked if he could stay in the spare room for a few days since he had nowhere else to go while attending a meeting in Thimphu but I feel conflicted. I wanted to consult Thinley, but I hesitated, fearing he might misunderstand or take it the wrong way. I made the decision on my own, allowing my friend to stay for just three days in the spare room we have, and though I know my intentions were good, I can’t shake the feeling that I should have told him. The thought of upsetting him lingers in the back of my mind, making me question whether I did the right thing.
I hope that when the time comes, I will find the right words to explain everything and that he will see that my heart was in the right place. After all, offering someone shelter in a time of need is an act of kindness, one that I believe he would understand if he truly knows me.
December has been a whirlwind of emotions of love, longing, excitement, exhaustion, and reflection. It has reminded me of what matters most, of the people who shape my world, and of the lessons I continue to learn.
As the year comes to a close, I hope for a smoother, healthier, and more peaceful beginning. Whatever the new year holds, I just want to step into it with love in my heart and the person I cherish by my side even if he is thousand of miles away.
Signing Out,
Day 210 of Our LDR.
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