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To you, my first Rainbow


I've been meaning to write this for a long time, and it's taken me just as long to find the right words. Life has been so full lately that I can hardly remember the last time I really sat down and thought about you. But recently, you've been on my mind some of the days. For a while, I was scared that I might have forgotten the memories we shared. But, to our relief, I haven't.

I still remember how we first met on Facebook, chatting late into the night, losing track of time. The excitement and anticipation of waiting for the summer break, knowing that we would finally meet in person, was almost unbearable. I remember sitting in the taxi, heart racing, filled with a mix of excitement and doubt, your messages pinging every 10 to 15 minutes: “Where have you reached?”

I’ll never forget stepping out of the taxi in that misty evening at the Darjeeling stand, craning my neck to find you in the crowd. The nervousness, the butterflies in my stomach, and then the warmth of your hand as we shook hands, though I knew we both wanted to hug. I remember the road to your home, the ema datsi you so lovingly made for me, the long walks we took together, the deep, unfiltered conversations we had. Sharing the bed, sneaking kisses and hugs in between moments of silence, it all felt like a dream.

Those memories, especially that first week as boyfriends, are as vivid as ever, and they still make me smile.

I know you've been gone for so long now, but I like to believe that you're in a better place. Hey, do you ever wonder how our lives might have turned out if you hadn't left too soon? Sometimes I catch myself thinking about the life we could’ve built together—the adventures we might have taken, the late-night talks, the simple joys of being with each other. Would we have grown together? Would we still be holding hands, sharing meals, and building a life filled with love and laughter?

But now, all I can do is carry these memories with me. Even though you're gone, a part of you still lingers in the quiet moments of my day. And even though time keeps moving forward, I'll always cherish the time we had. Thank you for those memories, our moments, which are a part of me. Always.

PS- Don't worry about me, I have found someone wonderful. I am sure you would have loved him if you met him. 

Note: I began writing this piece in 2021 but didn’t complete it until today. It’s taken time to gather my thoughts, but these memories have always remained close to my heart. 

 

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