Thinley has always wanted a proper bed, and it broke my heart that I couldn’t afford one while
he was here. But now, when he returns, he will finally have it. I’ve been keeping him updated on everything I’ve bought, and even from a distance, he has been helping me arrange our space, at least virtually. He carefully selected a cupboard with a drawer for himself, and I made sure to place his clothes there while keeping mine in the other.
Every little thing I do now is with him in mind. I want our home to feel warm, ready, and waiting for him when he comes back. It’s my way of showing him that this is our space, our safe haven, and that no matter how far apart we are now, we are building a future together.
Recently, he finally received his medical reports, and after consulting with doctors here, I was given several precautions he needs to take for his well-being. They emphasized the importance of staying hydrated, as dehydration could worsen his condition. They also strongly advised against smoking and caffeinated drinks, as both can contribute to dehydration and other health complications.
Most concerning, however, is the risk of him fainting and potentially hitting his head. This has already happened once, and given that he is alone in a foreign country, I worry about how easily a medical emergency could escalate. Seeking immediate help might not always be easy for him. So he needs to be in safe space at all the times.
I have relayed everything the doctors told me and urged him to take these precautions seriously. I can only hope he listens and prioritizes his health. It worries me deeply because I know how stubborn he can be, but I also know that he understands the gravity of the situation. I just wish I could be there to take care of him myself, but since I can’t, all I can do is remind him and trust that he will make the right choices.
While all this was happening, I had been traveling, first to Chiang Mai, then to Bangkok, and later to Chandigarh, India. On the 26th, I didn’t hear from him at all. I couldn’t buy a SIM card, so I had to rely on the hotel’s unstable WiFi. The silence was unbearable. I was so worried that he might be sick or that something had happened to him. When you’re far apart, the worst part is the endless waiting, your mind racing with thousands of bad thoughts while you’re powerless to do anything but hope.
Thankfully, I heard from him the next day. It turned out that his shift had been changed from evening to morning for the week, and he had been too exhausted to reach out. Though I was relieved, I couldn’t shake the lingering fear of what might happen if something actually went wrong one day and I had no way of knowing.
Lately, he’s been feeling down because one of his friend is returning home to Nepal. He spent the day helping his friend pack and attending his farewell. It’s been hard on him, not just because he’s saying goodbye, but because it’s a painful reminder that he doesn’t have the same option. Unlike his friend, he can’t just leave. He still has to endure being there, far from home, caught between duty and longing. I can only imagine how heavy that must feel for him. Watching someone else get to go home while he has to stay behind must be heartbreaking.
We have also been talking about the phone he wants to gift me for my birthday. I initially chose a more affordable option, but he insists on getting me a expensive one. This has led to several debates between us because, while I appreciate the gesture, I have my reservations.
First, I worry that people might misunderstand and assume I am misusing office funds, which is the last thing I want. As the Executive Director, I have to be mindful of how things appear, and an expensive phone could raise unnecessary questions. Second, I don’t want him to spend so much of his hard-earned money on me. He has worked incredibly hard, and I don’t want him to feel pressured to prove anything through material gifts.
But, being as stubborn as he is, he insists that I should have a expensive phone because of my position as an ED. In his mind, it’s not just about luxury, he genuinely believes I deserve something good because of the work I do. That, in itself, is touching. It’s his way of showing love, care, and pride in me. While I understand where he’s coming from, I just wish he would realize that his support and presence mean far more to me than any expensive gift ever could.
Day 120 of Our LDR.
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