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Showing posts from October, 2024

The burden of a survivor

It was 2023 when I received a frantic message from a friend and colleague on Messenger, informing me that one of my staff’s partner had passed away in an accident. My heart sank immediately. I searched for words to console her, wondering what I could possibly say to make her feel even a little better. I was in the middle of a meeting, but I felt restless and uneasy because I could relate to her pain. A rush of emotions overwhelmed me, memories of losing my own first rainbow, years ago. It was as if all those feelings were flooding back, fresh and raw again. I realized how difficult it is to console someone who has lost their other half, it is a pain that words alone cannot heal. Later that evening, I gathered all my courage, even though my hands were shaking, and made the call to her. I remember sitting in the smoking area of a closed Japanese-themed bar next to the hotel, trying to steady my voice. I told her, through my own shaky words, that it is the burden of the survivor to carry ...

5th October 2024: Month 4

I have been diligently saving money to furnish our home, and I’m happy to say that I’ve finally saved enough to buy a bed, mattress, and a cupboard for each of us. Since we will be living together for the rest of our lives, I want to make our home as comfortable and welcoming as possible. Thinley has always wanted a proper bed, and it broke my heart that I couldn’t afford one while he was here. But now, when he returns, he will finally have it. I’ve been keeping him updated on everything I’ve bought, and even from a distance, he has been helping me arrange our space, at least virtually. He carefully selected a cupboard with a drawer for himself, and I made sure to place his clothes there while keeping mine in the other. Every little thing I do now is with him in mind. I want our home to feel warm, ready, and waiting for him when he comes back. It’s my way of showing him that this is our space, our safe haven, and that no matter how far apart we are now, we are building a future togeth...